Appetithäppchen #002

Hier nun mein zweiter Versuch euch mit verbalen Köstlichkeiten zu verwöhnen. Diesmal aus einem bereits existierenden Buch. Keine Angst – es ist alles kalorienfrei!

“Ah, so you’re an astronomer?” said Twoflower.

“Oh, no”, said Belafon, as the rock drifted gently around the curve of a mountain. “I’m a computer hardware consultant.”

“What’s a computer hardware?”

“well, this is”, said the driud, tapping the rock with a sandalled foot. “Part of one, anyway. It’s a replacement. I’m delivering it. They’re having trouble with the big circles up the Vortex Plains. So they say, anyway. I wish I had a bronze torc for every user who didn’t read the manual.” He shrugged.

“What use is it, then, exactly?” asked Rincewind. Anything to keep his mind off the drop below.

“You can use it to – to tell you what time of the year it is”, said Belafon.

“Ah. You mean if it’s covered in snow then it must be winter?”

“Yes. I mean no. I mean, supposing you wanted to know when a particular star is going to rise -”

“Why?” said Twoflower, radiating polite interest.

“Well, maybe you want to know when to plant your crops”, said Belafon, sweating a little, “or maybe – ”

“I’ll lend you my almanac, if you like”, said Twoflower.


“It’s a book that tells you what day it is”, said Rincewind wearily. “It’d be right up your leyline.”

Belafon sniffed. “Book?” he said. “Like, with paper?”


“That doesn’t sound very reliable to me“, said the druid nastily. “How can a book know what day it is? Paper can’t count.”

He stamped off to the front of the rock, causing it to wallow alarmingly. Rincewind swallowes hard and beckoned Twoflower closer.

“Have you ever heard of culture shock?” he hissed.

“What’s that?”

“It’s what happens when people spend five hundred years trying to get a stone circle to work properly and then someone comes up with a little book with a page for every day and little chatty bits saying things like “Now it’s a good time to plant broad beans” and “Early to risem early to bed, makes a man healthy, wealthy and dead” and do you know what the most important thing to remember about culture shock”, Rincewind paused for breath, and moved his lips silently trying to remember where the sentence had to go to, “is?” he concluded.


“Don’t give it to a man flying a thousand ton rock.”

Soviel dazu. Ich bitte etwaige Schreibfehler zu verzeihen, da es sich schlecht schreibt, wenn man nur eine Hand frei hat, weil die andere das Buch offen halten muss.

Ansonsten viel Spaß beim Lesen und Rätseln, auch wenn es diesmal etwas einfacher ist.


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