Cecelia Ahern – “If you could see me now” – & – Auflösung Appetithäppchen #004

Do you know the kind of people who you met once or who disappear out of your life, but still changed your life in a positive way?

I know someone like this. And it was important for me to have met him though I came to the conclusion that I actually can’t stand him after talking to him the second time. But it helped me to realize a lot about myself.

Elizabeth’s case is quite different. She falls in love with Ivan who turns her life upside down. Before she’d met him she was overly well organized, slept bad and was unable to handle the emotional part of being Luke’s, her nephew, adoptive mother. The only strange thing is that he has some similarity with Ivan, Luke’s imaginary friend.

Actually calling Ivan an imaginary friend is quiet rude. We only decided not seeing him though he’s there and people needing his help can see him. He needs to eat and sleep, knows how to listen to someone closely and is said to be the best in his company settled in Ekam Eveileb (just read it backwards 😉 ), but unfortunately he’s unable to open doors.

In the beginning he believes helping Luke to handle the fact that his mother has not the slightest interest in him is his job, but than he gets more and more attracted to Elizabeth. This is unusual because there are others in the company working with adults. Nevertheless she senses him, hears him and finally sees him though she takes him being the father of Luke’s friend Sam. And she really needs him. Her childhood was even worse: her mother would disappear from time to time (later it comes out she was an alcoholic) and than a month after her sister Saoirse was born left her family for ever. Elizabeth was 12 years old and had now to raise her sister and met her fathers expectations. Nearly out of everything  years later, having a life in New York now, she comes back and stays to raise again a child, this time her nephew.

Yes, Ivan really helps her a lot even though when he leaves her it doesn’t seem like it changed much. Still she’s now able to enjoy her life, catching Jinny Joes (flying dandelions) and being a mother for Luke.

The sad part is Ivan and Elizabeth fell in love, but their love would have sooner or later vioalte both of them. So Ivan decides suppress his feelings for her and has to experience that after a while she’s not able to see him anymore. And there’s also the shock when no one seems to know Ivan. The good thing she decides that she believes and paints the children play room of a hotel she had to furnish with all those beautiful scenes with Ivan and her good childhood memories. Suddenly a little girl starts speaking to merely air and humming a song which Ivan created.

So the book leaves oneself with mixed feelings. Still I felt sad for it not having a classical Happy Ending, but also filled with peace, because everything seemed to have worked out fine. Maybe it’s the small things we have to change in life to improve it.

I have to admit that I’m a big Cecilia Ahern fan since being to Ireland in the age of 15. During my stay I read “PS: Ich liebe dich” and also fell in love with this amazing country. Her books remind me of this stay, but also have that wonderful balance of telling an everyday story and opening the mind to the remarkable and sometimes even strange things in life. Surprisingly I bought this certain book more than 2 years ago when flying back from a 2weeks stay in Cambridge and haven’t read it since a week ago. So I have to warn you to keep your time with her books and not force yourself to read them. They need time as one needs to grow to understand their meaning and to enjoy them.

At the moment I’m really looking forward to read the latest book of Ahern, but don’t want to start with it right ahead tough I have no other book to read in mind. Fortunately there are still other books in my shelves that I haven’t read so far so you’ll hear from me soon.

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